The Five-Question Intake Audit
1. Does it ask for “parents” or “guardians”? (1 point for yes)
A form that requires you to choose between “mother” and “father” before you’ve said a single word about your family has already decided that you don’t fit. If the form uses parent-neutral language, that’s a genuine signal that someone thought about who might be filling it out.
2. Is there room for more than one adult in the same role? (1 point for yes)
Many queer families have two parents with the same relationship to the child. They will have two mothers, a single father, or maybe even two nonbinary parents. A form with one line for “mother” and one for “father” has no architecture for that.
3. Does it ask about the child’s origin story in a way that’s expansive? (1 point for yes)
Questions about pregnancy history, biological relationship to the child, or conception method are sometimes clinically relevant, but they should be asked with context. A well-designed form frames them as either genetic medical information or optional.
4. Does it offer a space for a nonlegal name and a pronoun field for every person listed? (1 point for yes)
A clinic that asks for correct names and pronouns has thought about individual identity.
5. Are there options besides ‘other’ for you? (1 point for yes)
When a form’s only option for LGBTQIA+ people is “other,” it’s telling you that you are an afterthought. The difference between that and a form with open-field designs is the difference between being included or not.
What Your Answers Mean
If you answered yes to all five of these questions, you’re looking at an organization that has done real work to include all families. It doesn’t guarantee that care will be perfect, but it means you’re less likely to spend your appointments doing administrative labor.
If you got 3-4 points, you’re in a place with good intentions. It means you’ll need to do some correcting along the way—go in emotionally prepared.
If you got 1-2 points, then that’s solid information. Sometimes your geography, costs, or a certain specialty leaves you with limited options. At the very least, it means you should expect to advocate clearly and often, and document what you encounter.
For organizations: what fixing this actually looks like
If you run a clinic or any organization that serves families and you’ve read this far, here is the simplest version of what you can do.
Pull your current intake form now and run it through the five questions above. If you’ve scored more than a 5, consider more formal training with The Family Circle.
A note on what forms can’t fix
A better form is a start, but intake forms don’t train providers, and they don’t change the assumptions a clinician carries into the room. They don’t fix insurance structures that require documentation of heterosexual conception attempts before covering fertility treatment, and they won’t change legal frameworks that don’t recognize both parents at birth.
But they do set a tone. In a system that so often requires LGBTQIA+ people to justify themselves at every turn, a form that gets it right is not a small thing.
Want to run a full audit with your organization?
The Family Circle offers intake form reviews and staff training for clinics, fertility practices, and family-serving organizations. If you want LGBTQIA+ families to feel that from the first piece of paper, we can help you get there.
MD Sitzes is the founder of The Family Circle
